Half-Life - Combine Road Parody Album

A 5-track parody album that pokes fun of everything Valve....

  • Category First Person
  • Size 18.4 MB
  • Program by Jonathan Lewis & Phillip Marlowe

Half-Life - Combine Road Parody Album

A 5-track parody album that pokes fun of everything Valve.

COMBINE ROAD by Jonathan Lewis and Phillip Marlowe.

This file contains all the text from the website: http://www.combineroad.com

Combine Road is a 5-track parody album, using Half-Life, and all its incredible details, as inspiration.

A "parody" is a song that is created to mock, comment on, or poke fun at an original work, in this case the Half-Life games.

Combine Road has been created by

Jonathan Lewis: http://www.jonathanlewis.me

and

Phillip Marlowe: http://phillipmarlowe.com/

Phillip first thought of the concept as a Christmas album, using classic Christmas carols, but with Jonathan on board it was decided to branch out into varying musical styles.

The name is inspired by Abbey Road by The Beatles.

Here are the tracks...

==============================

Episode 3's Just Fine

This is a parody of "The Middle" by Jimmy Eat World, originally released in 2002.

You can see the video here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nZ7ZvxXvn90

"If you're anything like me, you've played through the Half Life game countless times using upcoming releases as another excuse to replay the entire series and devour any news about the next installment you can get. Well, given the anticipation surrounding the release of Episode 3, the extra long wait we've been going through and Valve's infamous reputation for meeting release dates the theme of this song just seemed to fit." - Jonathan

LYRICS: Jonathan Lewis

MUSIC: Jonathan Lewis

VOCALIST: Kyle Woods

The Lyrics:

Hey, don't write Valve off yet

It's only in your head you feel left out and looked down on

They're trying their best, everything they can

To give us Episode 3 before, this world ends

It just takes some time

In this case a frickin' lot that's no crime

Episode episode 3's just fine

Episode episode 3's alright alright

Hey, there really is no shame

In playing another game, to help yourself through

Maybe Left for Dead, maybe Team Fortress

Just remember whatever you do, Steam will monitor you

It just takes some time

In this case a frickin' lot that's no crime

Episode episode 3's just fine

Episode episode 3's alright alright

It just takes some time

In this case a frickin' lot that's no crime

Episode episode 3's just fine

Episode episode 3's alright alright.

Hey, don't write Valve off yet

It's only in your head you feel left out and looked down on

They're trying their best, everything they can

To give us Episode 3 before, this world ends

It just takes some time

In this case a frickin' lot that's no crime

Episode episode 3's just fine

Episode episode 3's alright alright

It just takes some time

In this case a frickin' lot that's no crime

Episode episode 3's just fine

Episode episode 3's alright alright

==============================

Freeman

This is a parody of "Russians" by Sting, originally released in 1985.

You can see the video here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4rk78eCIx4E

"I've always liked this song because it actually had an important message. My rewrite isn't so deep, but it has the idea that some scientists don't really like Gordon. Originally, it was written with one Breen in mind, but Jonathan added the idea of a group of scientists rather than Breen and it works better." - Phillip

LYRICS: Phillip Marlowe

ADDITIONAL LYRICS: Jonathan Lewis

MUSIC: Jonathan Lewis

VOCALIST: Kyle Woods

The Lyrics:

In Black Mesa and White Forest,

There's a bunch of us who are really pissed,

The Combine came and interrupted work,

No thanks to our hero, that Freeman jerk,

He really screwed with our universe,

And would stroll in late with that cocky smirk,

Believe me when we say to you,

We hope the Combine kill Freeman too.

Sulky and broody was his way,

In fact most people thought he might be gay,

Always giving those sideways looks

While pretending to read his science books,

But all that doesn't matter any more,

Not since he started the 7 Hour War,

Believe me when we say to you,

We hope the Combine kill Freeman too.

Those thick-rimmed glasses looked so cool,

But we all knew he barely passed at school,

Strutting around in his HEV,

At least our clothes don't require bags to pee,

We're not surprised about the Resonance Cascade,

We all knew he was in past his pay grade,

Believe me when we say to you,

We hope the Combine kill Freeman too.

==============================

My Combine Bride

This is a parody of "I Will Survive" by Gloria Gaynor, originally released in 1978.

You can see the video here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZBR2G-iI3-I

"I've always enjoyed exploring a character's idiosyncrasy's and then twisting them for humor. Dr. Breen, with his cool demeanor in the face of human genocide and creepily close relationship with the Combine made a love story much to tempting to ignore." - Jonathan

LYRICS: Jonathan Lewis

MUSIC: Jonathan Lewis

VOCALIST: Kyle Woods

The Lyrics:

I knew I was human I was weak inside

Kept thinking I couldn't evolve without you by my side

So I spent so many nights wishing you'd return to me

You'd think I was a loser, not distinguished Dr. Breen

But now you're back from outer space

I just looked up to find you here to subjugate the human race

All those nights I spent alone, I would have never lost the hope

If I had known for just one second I'd be welcoming you home

Go on now go and take my soul

My private portal is yours, and yours alone

Gordon's the one who tried to break us with goodbye

He thought he triumphed, but the portals kept our love alive

Just you and I my Combine bride

I thought I'd never find the one, mere humans do not qualify

All my needs you do provide but how we keep our love alive

Is classified my Combine bride...

Go on now go and take my soul

I'm on the top floor I don't need it anymore

Freeman's the one who's always putting up a fight

He thought he triumphed, but the storms let our world's collide

Just you and I my Combine bride

That fire in your eyes makes me want some genocide

You gave everything to me

Even that headcrab S-T-D

Love has arrived my Combine bride

Go on now go and take my soul

I'm on the top floor I don't need it anymore

Freeman's the one who's always putting up a fight

He thought he triumphed, but the storms let our world's collide

Just you and I my Combine bride

That fire in your eyes makes me want some genocide

You gave everything to me

Even that headcrab S-T-D

Love has arrived my Combine bride

==============================

Kinky Doctor Kleiner

This is a parody of "Dirty Diana" by Michael Jackson, originally released in 1988.

You can see the video here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bdjqcSCObuc

"There's something a little creepy about Kleiner and this song alludes to a certain side of his character. My original version was more direct but Jonathan came to the litigation rescue and made some subtle changes that "hints" at things rather than pushing them in your face." - Phillip

LYRICS: Phillip Marlowe

ADDITIONAL LYRICS: Jonathan Lewis

MUSIC: Jonathan Lewis

VOCALIST: Kyle Woods

The Lyrics:

I always knew you were strange,

Are you a she or a he,

Following me around,

And standing so close to me,

I used to focus on work,

And I´ve been too blind to see,

That you seduce everyone,

This time you won´t seduce me.

He´s saying "Don´t be like that",

It´s time to try something new,

You never know you what you'll like,

As he stroked a test tube,

He looked me deep in the eyes,

Touching his microscope,

He says there´s no turning back,

Come handle my telescope!

Kinky Kleiner, nah

Kinky Kleiner, nah

Kinky Kleiner, no

Kinky Kleiner

Let me be!

He really likes the Boy Bands,

He knows when they come to play,

He memorizes the words,

And hopes they swing his way,

He waits at backstage doors,

He's too excited to flee,

They promise not to wear gloves,

A life that's rubber free,

He's says that's ok,

Hey boys do what you want,

I'll be your night lovin' thing,

I'll be the freak you can taunt,

We can go anywhere,

Even out back in tents,

Cause we don't need a lab,

To perform experiments,

Kinky Kleiner, nah

Kinky Kleiner, nah

Kinky Kleiner, no

Kinky Kleiner...

Let me be.

==============================

You ain't Nothing But a headcrab

This is a parody of "Hound Dog" by Elvis Presley, originally released in 1956.

You can see the video here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FJsQSb9RFo0

"I got the idea from Larmar, which is Doctor Kleiner's pet Headcrab. I thought it would be funny to imagine Kleiner running around the lab in Black Mesa East impersonating Elvis." - Phillip

LYRICS: Phillip Marlowe

ADDITIONAL LYRICS: Jonathan Lewis

MUSIC: Jonathan Lewis

VOCALIST: Jonathan Lewis (Phillip tried but really sucked eggs!)

The Lyrics:

You ain't nothin' but a headcrab,

Screamin' all the time,

You ain't nothin' but a headcrab,

Screamin' all the time,

Well, you'll never be a zombie,

And you ain't no friend of mine,

They said you have sharp teeth

Well, that was just a lie

They said you have sharp teeth

Well, that was just a lie

You'll never be a zombie

And you ain't no friend of mine

You ain't nothin' but a headcrab,

Screamin' all the time,

You ain't nothin' but a headcrab,

Screamin' all the time,

Well, you'll never be a zombie,

And you ain't no friend of mine,

Your mother was the cannister,

That fell out of the sky,

Your mother was the cannister,

That fell out of the sky,

Well, you'll never be a zombie,

And you ain't no friend of mine,

You ain't nothin' but a headcrab,

Screamin' all the time,

You ain't nothin' but a headcrab,

Screamin' all the time,

Well, you'll never be a zombie,

And you ain't no friend of mine.

==============================

About Jonathan Lewis

Jonathan is a songwriter and composer who's work has been featured online, in video games and on the radio. Jonathan's work with the Half Life community began when he released the song G-Man's Last Breath on his blog (link), an international hit and humorous take on the secret that ties the Half Life story together.

The song's success led to Jonathan's involvement in music composition for mods, the Left 4 Dead themed song "Blow Like Hurricane," and the Half-Life parody album "Combine Road" among other projects.

==============================

About Phillip Marlowe

Phillip is a minor, C-list celebrity within the Half-Life community. He runs PlanetPhillip.Com, which is a review and database site covering single player combat-style maps and mods for the Half-Life series of games.

He has also contributed to a number of released and unreleased mods with voice acting and story writing. His ultimate gaming dream is to make and release Blaze Bolden, a total conversion for Source (http://planetphillip.com/blazebolden/)

==============================

Contact Us

We'd love to hear what you have to say about our work, so just email us: [email protected]

If our schedules allow we will attempt to make you laugh again by making the Christmas album and ruining such timeless classics as "I'm dreaming of a Combine Slaughter", "Headcrab Bells" and many more.

==============================

Thank Yous

Jonathan and Phillip would like to extend their thanks to Kyle Woods for providing the album with some wonderful vocals.

In addition Phillip would like to thank CivanT for creating the map used in the album art. He would also like to apologize for not using the map as the centre of the design, as first planned.

Copyright Jonathan Lewis and Phillip Marlowe 2010

No headcrabs were harmed in this production

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