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Top-Ten Drawbacks to Neurosensitive Gaming

May 04, 2007


Wario's not the only one who's got smooth moves. It's true -- they're developing videogames you can control with your mind. Check out Sci-Tech's Roundup of brainwave videogame controllers. You've got Neurosky, a company whose demo includes a thought-sensitive Darth Vader mask that lights up a light saber only when you concentrate. (This makes the old Jedi mind trick, "Hey! What's that thing behind you?" really effective during duels.) Then there's Emotiv, whose engineers have developed this crazy headset allowing you to actually control things on-screen. In their tech demo, you can build stonehenge with your mind ... in approximately the same amount of time it took to build the real one.

Finally there's Cyberlearning Technology, a company whose NASA-researched neurofeedback system is aimed at improving the concentration of kids suffering from problems such as attention deficit disorder. Sweet: Doctor-prescribed videogaming. "Pwn a couple chumps and call me in the morning." Apparently the Cyberlearning system will shut off the videogames if kids aren't concentrating, thus training their brain. Training them to get up and do something else, maybe.

This is your brain. This is your brain on games. Any questions?

These technologies represent a bold new direction for the games industry. From the Sci-Tech piece:

Adding biofeedback to Tiger Woods PGA Tour, for instance, could mean that only those players who muster Zen-like concentration could nail a put. In the popular action game Grand Theft Auto, players who become nervous or frightened would have worse aim than those who remain relaxed and focused.
I'm not so sure this is a good thing. Do we really want to go down this path? Games controlled directly by our brains? This could be disastrous.

Top 10 Drawbacks to Games that Read Your Mind

10. The Dead or Alive girls refuse to fight, simply take off clothes and make out.

9. Half-Life's Gordon Freeman keeps instinctively patting Alyx's ass.
    Your wife begins to worry.

8. You nod off while playing Halo. When you wake up, the Master Chief is standing in front of your Junior High English class in his underwear.

7. Breathalyzer required before you can play Gran Turismo.

6. Feeling nervous while playing Splinter Cell? Special agent Sam Fisher will crack under interrogation, reveal his secret government mission, jeopardize the free world, than blurt out stuff you did at Summer Camp, you know, just that one time.

5. Gordon Freeman keeps instinctively patting Dr. Kleiner's ass. You begin to worry.

4. Your Elder Scrolls: Oblivion character won't rest in-game until you
      physically fall asleep.

3. Cooking Mama tries to teach you a new recipe, but keeps averting her eyes
      and blushing.

2. Gordon Freeman uncontrollably patting Antlion asses. You didn't even know they had asses. Everyone is worried.

1. You and your friends play Mario Party while drunk. When you come to, Toad's shoved in a mailbox and the Princess wakes up pregnant.

I'm just sayin'. We gotta think about this stuff.

      -Fargo

P.S. I want the USB fish-babysitter aquarium. For reals.

Today's Geek Stuff:
Mod News:
Hardware Links Courtesy of Voodoo Extreme:

Posted by at 11:20 AM PDT
Edited on: May 04, 2007 11:43 AM PDT
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